Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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