She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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