Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
