I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
