i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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