This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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