Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
