So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
