She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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