woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
