I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize