Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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