he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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