Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
