i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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