I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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