if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I FOUND THE LEGS
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