Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
