i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was CRYING into my vagina
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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