we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
