im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
where are you?
Hypothermia
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
