My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
