I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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