dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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