She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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