i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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