Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
