Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
