Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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