Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
