I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
