i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
