During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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