Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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