There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
