How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
