they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
