i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
