I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize