They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I did not marry a roomba.
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