Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
