Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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