Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have fence marks all over my body
I am naked and annoyed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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