pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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