Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
