my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
