Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
