i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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