honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
