FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
