I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
