i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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