She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
