I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize