Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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