I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize