oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
