My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
