My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
