ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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