i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize