I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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