when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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