He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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