Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
