But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
