I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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