I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Even my vagina gasped.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
