did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
