party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
