he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
