Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize