Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
